tag (11 Posts)

Social Privacy

Over the weekend my husband and I celebrated our daughter’s 1st birthday. It was also the first time I shared that I had a daughter on social media. When we found out that I was pregnant, we knew that we didn’t want to announce it on social media. At the time, we were already engaged and had not made a big announcement on social media. Only our closest friends and family knew of our engagement so of course our pregnancy wouldn’t be any different. I asked my mother how she announced her pregnancy to people when she was expecting with me.
I’m a very private person and didn’t want our good news to be shared with 1500+ people that I really didn’t know and that didn’t really know me. It was a personal, intimate, and very special moment in my life and I wanted to share the news with those that

Mind Your Own Business

Social media has created a platform for people to run amuck, proclaim their pettiness, display their ignorance, and showcase a lack of sensitivity and compassion. I wanted to break down the notion of “minding your own business,” especially with the increase of social media drama that has flooded the Internet. “Mind” is an esoteric concept of present and awareness of self. To “mind your own business” essentially means to be aware of self. To be aware of self means to focus on self yet we sometimes get away from this and focus on other people. Relationships are sustained through our ability to trust one another and maintain a sense of loyalty. Chaos and conflict in relationships stem from the lack of one’s capability to mind their own business.
As much as many of us would like to say that we don’t focus on other people’s business, the fact is that anytime

Change in Direction

Life is one big movie! It is filled with ups and downs, hills and bumps,
laughter and excitement, joy and sadness. It’s a thriller, suspense,
drama, romance, comedy type of movie. It’ is all the genres packed into
one package that unfolds as your life’s movie. This is your motion
picture. Everything that is happening to you is for your greater good.
All you have to do is sit back and watch from the backseat. We don’t get
to watch it while it’s happening, although that would be great. Instead
we get to reflect back on things after they’ve already occurred,
contemplate different choices, and wonder about if things were
differently. This is the joy and excitement of life. 
There will be times in life that we will be re-routed from the current path in order to take an alternate route. During those moments, it may not appear to be reasonable to steer off course, but there

Free Yourself

In a previous post, The Road to Victory, I wrote about the continuous war that we experience along life’s journey. I did not mention in this post is that this war is an internal battle that takes place within our minds. These battles of the mind are not physical experiences, though it may often seem that way. We are presented with choices in a such a way that allows for us to make our own decisions (free will). Some people continue to make the same choices, taking the easy way out, doing what they’ve always done, and expect to get different results. These people have yet to recognize the instant of their behavior. They have not freed themselves from the bondage of the mind.
The mind is a very complex factor that we do not yet fully understand as human beings. Our minds play tricks on us, working for and against

Love Yours

Money makes the world go round, well at least that is what people like to say. It is the thing that some people life, work, and die for. Many people believe that by having more money their lives will be better. They convince themselves into believing all the problems in their life will be solved if they had more money. While money may provide temporary solutions to current life struggles, money does not, will not, and cannot be a remedy to internal pain and suffering. That type of healing must come from within.
Money is not the solution to our problems, our relationship to money is the problem. We have developed an internalized belief that money solves everything. We have yet to realized that the more we focus on money, the further away we move from our true purpose and happiness. We place too much value on money and once we

How are you?

It is a phrase that is spoken perhaps more than a billion times per day; however we rarely stop to reflect on the true meaning of the question. “How are you” has become a conversation starter or polite greeting but we never expect to hear a truthful response. Sometimes we don’t even wait for the general one-word response before our minds are racing on to the next thing. There is no value placed on the state of another human being. Our communication has become screwed and in many ways this masked communication has prevented authenticity and honesty from existing in our relationships.
For a week straight, I responded as honest as possible when I was asked “How are you?” I even managed to explain my melancholy mood on an off day; however the responses I received were cliché and apathetic to say the least. I was met with indifference and awkward

God Within

As human beings we spend great deal of our time being distracted by the cares of this world. We go days, weeks, sometimes even years without time in solace and solitude. We’ve become distracted by an abundance of noise, chaos, and confusion. Once our lives are a mess we then turn to God expecting a quick remedy to solve our problems. God has become the band-aid to heal the wounds that we have created for ourselves. Instead of turning inwardly to seek guidance for answers, we’ve learned to spend time outwardly waiting to hear the voice of God.

God is not some mystical force sitting in heaven, waiting to hear our cries, and answer them when we call out. We’ve taken away from the very essence of experiencing God by turning an inward experience into an outwardly one. God resides within, in the space of quiet stillness and peace. We’ve disconnected

I Validate Me

From a very young age, we are taught to seek outside validation for all that we do. Our parents taught us whether our behaviors were pleasing or displeasing through their responses to us. As we grew older, we continued to seek this validation from our parents, family members, and friends. Our desire for validation continued to increase as we moved through life and we began to seek approval for things like fashion, relationship, and career choices.
This validation provides the reassurance that we are looking for, that ultimately we cannot give to ourselves. You do not go to someone for validation for something that you know they will not agree with. We seek approval from those that will give us the confirmation that we need. When we do not receive a favorable response, we become like children, experiencing a tantrum for being told no. We respond with aggression and defensiveness

Friends in Distance

I read an interesting article over the weekend entitled Friendship Goals. This article was very insightful and reminded me of the struggle I went through to find and secure meaningful and authentic friendships. As a child I had a best friend for every new grade. When I transferred school, I had a new best friend and sometimes multiple best friends simultaneously. My mother would always remind me that “not everyone is your best friend.” While I didn’t listen to my mother then, as I grew older I started to notice that she was right. Everyone wasn’t my best friend, in fact, not everyone was my friend.
A series of unfortunate events during grade school resulted in my best friends betraying me, hurting me, and lying about me. It was brutal and painful. As a young child losing all of your friends is probably one of the most devastating things to

Ego Check

The truth is sometimes hard for us to swallow. We all say that we want truth, but the moment that we enter into a space to receive it, our feelings are hurt and our egos are bruised. Though we would like to believe that we can handle the truth, our egos would much rather accept a lie. In fact, the ego will go as far as fabricating and altering the truth to make it acceptable for us to process and receive it. Ego knows no truth.
The ego is an aspect of our cognitive process and manifests itself through our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is not a thing per se, but more of a mental state of being. It is manipulative, deceiving, and untrustworthy. The ego feels threatened and attacked when it does not or cannot have its’ way. It fights to be seen, heard, and feared. The ego believes