thejourney

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Mirror, Mirror

I realize that I make a whole lot of excuses for a whole bunch of things. The first time someone said this to me I became argumentative and defensive. I didn’t want to see myself as that person, when in fact, that’s who I am. I create excuses for my attitude; I justify my actions, and refuse to acknowledge this as an aspect of my personality. In moments like these, I refuse to see myself from any vantage point other than my own. This has been disastrous. I’ve created a one-dimensional view of my life, which has lead to stagnation and contentment.
There are an infinite amount of perspectives that exist in the world. Each individual has a unique perspective based on their reality and the things that they experience within that reality. For me to reject someone’s perspective is refusing to acknowledge the multitude of perceptions that exist within this universe. It

Mommy & Me

Establishing a relationship with my mother as an adult has been a challenge. It was a major transition for us, especially after I entered into this new phase of life as a wife and mother. I understand how in my mother’s eyes, I’ll always be her baby, but there’s this huge part of me fighting for balance between being her baby and needing to be an adult. My mother and I are working on a chapter for a book about our relationship as mother and daughter and about a specific situation involving my mother, my daughter, and myself.
Initially I had reservation about completing the chapter. I didn’t want to share the ugly truths that exist in my relationship with my mother to be exposed. I was nervous about how it would make us look and what people would say. I came around to the idea of writing the chapter because I wanted to

Yoga Saved My Life

I know that’s a huge statement to make and I don’t mean it in a cliché, hippie sort of way. I mean literally and figuratively, yoga saved my life. I am a very anxious person. Although I might not present as someone who is always anxious, there’s always a consistent ball of anxiety sitting in my chest. My mind is constantly racing and sometimes I can’t keep up with myself. I talk fast, I move faster and so I’m always talking, moving, and thinking fast. I’m also easily distracted within all of that. So basically I’m a big mess in my head and I’m always all over the place. I needed to still my mind so that I could focus and be more present, not just for me, but for my husband, daughter, family, and friends.
So I started doing yoga. When I first started doing yoga, I was only focused

Much Love

Last week my womanfriend and I were having a conversation about friendships and how our friendship has changed over the years. We’ve been friends since college and although there were periods of time that we didn’t speak as much, we always picked back up right where we left off. Each time engaging in elevating and stimulating conversation, that reminded us just why we are friends. We are always there for each other and we know that we can rely on one another regardless of where we are in life. We recognized, though, that all friendships aren’t created equal.
There are some friendships that aren’t built to withstand the busy spells, mood swings, and distant phases that come along as a result of adulting in life. Sometimes distance is created in friendships in order to elevate the progression of both individuals. I know I wasn’t always able to hold space for friends when

Planning Time

I read an article last week about Elon Musk, CEO of Telsa, managing his time in 5-minute time intervals. Can you imagine how busy your life must be to plan around 5-minute intervals!? According to the article, Musk even eats his lunch in 5 minutes or less. He believes planning his day into 5 minute slots increases his productivity and allows for an optimized agenda. Knowing that I needed to change the way I manage my time, I thought I should attempt to make a schedule planning my time into intervals too.
I thought if I was going to change my procrastinating ways that I needed to take action about making better use of my time. So I started planning my days into hour-by-hour time slots, including time for playtime with my daughter, yoga classes, morning meditation, and rest. I scheduled 3 hours per day for writing and planned for an earlier bedtime and

Surviving Marriage

All the statistics show that I should be divorced by now. And it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I’m sure at some point every married person has thought about it or will think about it. If anyone says otherwise I would think they are lying. Marriage is hard work. It’s not like any other relationship I’ve ever been in. At 29 years old, entering into a marriage at 8 months pregnant was insane. On top of the emotional instability that comes along with pregnancy, it was a tumultuous time in our marriage, when it was supposed to be a time of bliss.
My husband and I were struggling with our new roles as mom and dad, when we had yet to solidify our roles as husband and wife. I also was not the nicest person during my pregnancy. It was a difficult transition and one that I wasn’t sure

I’m Listening God

God boxed me into a corner to beat me up four times this past week. On my way to yoga class I was procrastinating, knowing that I needed to go but wasn’t moving to prepare to go. Once I realized that I was going to be late, I was really upset about it. Until I realized that if I was going to be late, it was my fault for waiting until the last minute to get ready. I failed to prepare properly and as a result, I wasn’t going to get the outcome that I wanted because of my own poor judgment. When this came to me, I thought, “Okay, God, I hear you!”
That is what happened the first time around with the blog. I was procrastinating, thinking that something miraculous and profound would just come to me. I was waiting for the perfect moment to write, but refusing to

Finding My Voice

A friend told me that I have a powerful voice. This blew me away. No one has ever said anything remotely positive about my voice. ‘Til this day, I feel extremely uncomfortable when I have to leave a voicemail, usually opting out. Growing up, I was constantly reminded of how annoying and whining my voice was. Although it was something that I loved doing, I stopped talking and singing.
I stopped because I didn’t believe in the power of my own voice. I allowed the opinions of others to cause me to sink inside of myself, losing my authentic voice in the process. I didn’t realize that I had stopped talking and singing. Not on a conscious level anyway. I wasn’t talking about the things that matter. Not about how I feel. How I feel hurt. How I feel scared. How I feel broken. How there are days, weeks, even months

Hard to Be Different

Last night, BET premiered the 10th Annual Black Girls Rock Awards show. During her acceptance of the Rock Star award, Rihanna encouraged girls to love themselves and accept who they are. Oh, if it was so easy!? Most people don’t even have insight into who they are in order to love themselves. In fact, many people reject parts of themselves out of fear of rejection, ridicule, and shame. Instead we turn a blind eye to the not-so likable parts of ourselves in order to be accepted for someone that we are not. In order to fully love ourselves, we must first recognize and acknowledge the good with the bad.
Unfortunately, we all were born into a world that sends contradictory messages about what it means to be you. We say that it’s what’s on the inside that counts, but what really matters is on the outside. Whole groups of people are

Work for the Soul

Over the past few months several people have talked to me about their grave dissatisfaction with their work (read: job). They were frustrated, fed-up, and just down-right sick and tired. Their jobs were no longer providing a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction that it did when they first started working there. Gone are the days of lunch break chats, friendly conversations, and positive vibes, now people are experiencing mandatory overtime, gossiping and backstabbing co-workers, and drained energy and productivity.
These people weren’t simply complaining about not liking their jobs, they were speaking to the harsh demands of their workplace environment without any incentive or appreciation for the work they were producing. This awakening is happening not only on an individual basis, but also collectively. As a human race, we are experiencing a collective shift in our consciousness and rising to the awareness of our soul’s purpose. No longer are we satisfied