motivationalmondays

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Dear Daughter, I Don’t Have All the Answers

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Parenthood is hard. It’s hard as heck. I feel like not enough people are talking about just how hard it is being a parent. Ma, how the heck did you manage to make this look so easy?  I honor any parent that has made the decision to be fully present in a child’s life. It is a humbling experience. There are times that I think I am a bad mother, although I know I’m not. There are days that I feel really great about being a mother, too. Those are the days that I slay this motherhood thing! Breakfast on time, playtime, lunch, and nap all happening on schedule. I call those days ‘A’ days. I love those days because I am fully engaged and present with my daughter.
Then there are the days that I’m not fully present. Days that I’m exhausted and just want to sleep in because I

Breaking Up with Sleep

Since becoming a mother I had to break up with sleep. It has been horrible because I really love sleep. Sleep is one of those things that I have to have, need it on a every day basis type of thing. When my daughter was born I made sure that I was getting naps in regularly because I needed the rest as a transitioned to a new role as a mom. Now that I’ve learned to manage the new role and responsibilities a bit better I don’t need as much rest.
Now during nap time, I make better use of my time. Instead of napping, I’m reading or writing, sometimes washing dishes or preparing dinner. I get the things that I need to get done instead of complaining about not having enough time to do them. Being a parent is a 365 days/ 24 hours a day job and that will

Mirror, Mirror

I realize that I make a whole lot of excuses for a whole bunch of things. The first time someone said this to me I became argumentative and defensive. I didn’t want to see myself as that person, when in fact, that’s who I am. I create excuses for my attitude; I justify my actions, and refuse to acknowledge this as an aspect of my personality. In moments like these, I refuse to see myself from any vantage point other than my own. This has been disastrous. I’ve created a one-dimensional view of my life, which has lead to stagnation and contentment.
There are an infinite amount of perspectives that exist in the world. Each individual has a unique perspective based on their reality and the things that they experience within that reality. For me to reject someone’s perspective is refusing to acknowledge the multitude of perceptions that exist within this universe. It

What If?

On my return flight to Newark from Atlanta, I had an epiphany; I live in a daily state of fear. Before boarding the flight, a family wanted to switch seats so that they could sit together. So I gave up my beloved window seat for an aisle seat. It made me extremely uncomfortable to not be sitting next to the window, but I didn’t notice it until we were landing. I like to look out the window to see while the plane is landing. I wasn’t going to be able to see during this flight and it didn’t help that the person sitting next to the window had the shade closed.
When the plane started to descend, I started to panic. What if the plane wasn’t able to lane, what if we had to continue circling around the airport, I imagined terrible possibilities of what could happen. Having my daughter with

Uber Chronicles

I spent all of last week in Atlanta visiting my family and close friends. While I was there I had the pleasure of meeting a lovely woman named Charlene. She was my Uber driver to the airport to pick up a rental car. Charlene blessed my life during our ride Friday morning by being vulnerable and sharing her life story with me. She talked about her past and all it’s ugliness, losing friends and even family, but she also shared her glory. She’s married to a wonderful man that she said God blessed her with, is living in her dream house, and only drives for Uber to pay off credit cards she recently used to splurge for her husband’s birthday. She makes her own schedule, which allows her flexibility to do what she wants while still being able to spend time with her daughter. She’s enjoying life.
I said, “It sounds to me

Mommy & Me

Establishing a relationship with my mother as an adult has been a challenge. It was a major transition for us, especially after I entered into this new phase of life as a wife and mother. I understand how in my mother’s eyes, I’ll always be her baby, but there’s this huge part of me fighting for balance between being her baby and needing to be an adult. My mother and I are working on a chapter for a book about our relationship as mother and daughter and about a specific situation involving my mother, my daughter, and myself.
Initially I had reservation about completing the chapter. I didn’t want to share the ugly truths that exist in my relationship with my mother to be exposed. I was nervous about how it would make us look and what people would say. I came around to the idea of writing the chapter because I wanted to

Yoga Saved My Life

I know that’s a huge statement to make and I don’t mean it in a cliché, hippie sort of way. I mean literally and figuratively, yoga saved my life. I am a very anxious person. Although I might not present as someone who is always anxious, there’s always a consistent ball of anxiety sitting in my chest. My mind is constantly racing and sometimes I can’t keep up with myself. I talk fast, I move faster and so I’m always talking, moving, and thinking fast. I’m also easily distracted within all of that. So basically I’m a big mess in my head and I’m always all over the place. I needed to still my mind so that I could focus and be more present, not just for me, but for my husband, daughter, family, and friends.
So I started doing yoga. When I first started doing yoga, I was only focused

Surviving Marriage

All the statistics show that I should be divorced by now. And it’s not like I haven’t thought about it. I’m sure at some point every married person has thought about it or will think about it. If anyone says otherwise I would think they are lying. Marriage is hard work. It’s not like any other relationship I’ve ever been in. At 29 years old, entering into a marriage at 8 months pregnant was insane. On top of the emotional instability that comes along with pregnancy, it was a tumultuous time in our marriage, when it was supposed to be a time of bliss.
My husband and I were struggling with our new roles as mom and dad, when we had yet to solidify our roles as husband and wife. I also was not the nicest person during my pregnancy. It was a difficult transition and one that I wasn’t sure

I’m Listening God

God boxed me into a corner to beat me up four times this past week. On my way to yoga class I was procrastinating, knowing that I needed to go but wasn’t moving to prepare to go. Once I realized that I was going to be late, I was really upset about it. Until I realized that if I was going to be late, it was my fault for waiting until the last minute to get ready. I failed to prepare properly and as a result, I wasn’t going to get the outcome that I wanted because of my own poor judgment. When this came to me, I thought, “Okay, God, I hear you!”
That is what happened the first time around with the blog. I was procrastinating, thinking that something miraculous and profound would just come to me. I was waiting for the perfect moment to write, but refusing to

Finding My Voice

A friend told me that I have a powerful voice. This blew me away. No one has ever said anything remotely positive about my voice. ‘Til this day, I feel extremely uncomfortable when I have to leave a voicemail, usually opting out. Growing up, I was constantly reminded of how annoying and whining my voice was. Although it was something that I loved doing, I stopped talking and singing.
I stopped because I didn’t believe in the power of my own voice. I allowed the opinions of others to cause me to sink inside of myself, losing my authentic voice in the process. I didn’t realize that I had stopped talking and singing. Not on a conscious level anyway. I wasn’t talking about the things that matter. Not about how I feel. How I feel hurt. How I feel scared. How I feel broken. How there are days, weeks, even months