motherhood

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Dear Daughter, I Don’t Have All the Answers

Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash

Parenthood is hard. It’s hard as heck. I feel like not enough people are talking about just how hard it is being a parent. Ma, how the heck did you manage to make this look so easy?  I honor any parent that has made the decision to be fully present in a child’s life. It is a humbling experience. There are times that I think I am a bad mother, although I know I’m not. There are days that I feel really great about being a mother, too. Those are the days that I slay this motherhood thing! Breakfast on time, playtime, lunch, and nap all happening on schedule. I call those days ‘A’ days. I love those days because I am fully engaged and present with my daughter.
Then there are the days that I’m not fully present. Days that I’m exhausted and just want to sleep in because I

Breaking Up with Sleep

Since becoming a mother I had to break up with sleep. It has been horrible because I really love sleep. Sleep is one of those things that I have to have, need it on a every day basis type of thing. When my daughter was born I made sure that I was getting naps in regularly because I needed the rest as a transitioned to a new role as a mom. Now that I’ve learned to manage the new role and responsibilities a bit better I don’t need as much rest.
Now during nap time, I make better use of my time. Instead of napping, I’m reading or writing, sometimes washing dishes or preparing dinner. I get the things that I need to get done instead of complaining about not having enough time to do them. Being a parent is a 365 days/ 24 hours a day job and that will

Fancy Me Not

I don’t take great care of myself. I spend time caring for everyone else, but don’t spend nearly as much time caring for myself. I know that I have to take care of myself before I can take care of anyone else, but that’s been hard to do. I am managing several roles in my life and it’s gotten hard to manage. As a result, my self-care has been at an all-time low. I was doing the bare minimum to keep up with it, but that has caught up with me. I started to feel overwhelmed and stressed out.
I was barely making it to yoga classes and there were weeks that my practice has been nonexistent. So last week I was determined to squeeze some self-care in by any means necessary. Midweek, I headed to the beach with my daughter and two women friends. It was my daughter’s first trip

Mommy & Me

Establishing a relationship with my mother as an adult has been a challenge. It was a major transition for us, especially after I entered into this new phase of life as a wife and mother. I understand how in my mother’s eyes, I’ll always be her baby, but there’s this huge part of me fighting for balance between being her baby and needing to be an adult. My mother and I are working on a chapter for a book about our relationship as mother and daughter and about a specific situation involving my mother, my daughter, and myself.
Initially I had reservation about completing the chapter. I didn’t want to share the ugly truths that exist in my relationship with my mother to be exposed. I was nervous about how it would make us look and what people would say. I came around to the idea of writing the chapter because I wanted to

Mommy Dearest

There’s no greater relationship than the one between a mother and her child. From the forming of an egg into a fetus, growing rapidly in your mother’s womb, this was the first relationship you experienced even before entering into this world. A mother’s voice is the first sound a fetus hears from the womb. It is perhaps the sweetest sound we know during our earlier stages of development. As we continue to grow and move through the different stages of development throughout our lifespan, the mother-child relationship changes.  
Most of us experience the regretful phase between adolescence and young adulthood, where we rebel terribly against our mothers. During this phase we feel as though we know everything and our mothers know nothing. We proclaim that the times are different and that the lessons our mothers are attempting to teach us are ancient and outdated. That is, until we reach a

Four-Year Old Teacher

I love children! They are absolutely the most exceptional beings on this planet. As adults, we often feel like we know more than children because we are older; however older does not always mean wiser. Children are precious gifts from God sent here to teach us life’s most valuable lessons and there is much for us to learn from them. Their way of being is contagious and inspiring. We ought to spend more time learning from children than we do teaching them.
I recall one evening, sitting in front of the television with my four year old cousin, watching cartoons and eating granola bars. Less than two minutes had passed before I was finished with mine. Three minutes later, she looked over at me and asked, “Where’s yours?”  to which I replied, “It’s gone. I finished it.” Her reply? “That was fast.” I learned a valuable lesson that day: to