17 Jul Mirror, Mirror
I realize that I make a whole lot of excuses for a whole bunch of things. The first time someone said this to me I became argumentative and defensive. I didn’t want to see myself as that person, when in fact, that’s who I am. I create excuses for my attitude; I justify my actions, and refuse to acknowledge this as an aspect of my personality. In moments like these, I refuse to see myself from any vantage point other than my own. This has been disastrous. I’ve created a one-dimensional view of my life, which has lead to stagnation and contentment.
There are an infinite amount of perspectives that exist in the world. Each individual has a unique perspective based on their reality and the things that they experience within that reality. For me to reject someone’s perspective is refusing to acknowledge the multitude of perceptions that exist within this universe. It is small-minded and immature. Looking at myself through an alternative lens has allowed me the opportunity to experience myself more fully. I had to take a good look in the mirror and see myself for who I really am. I had to acknowledge and honor the parts of me that are pretty, while looking at the parts that aren’t quite so pretty and still be at peace with the person I saw staring back at me.
I’m finding the balance between pride and humility. Being able to accept all of me, without the judgment and shame. Owning who I am, and accepting the good with the bad, but no longer making excuses for myself. If I need to make an excuse about anything in my life it signals that there’s something off balance that I need to look at, otherwise I wouldn’t need to make an excuse. I don’t have to be defensive or even respond when someone shares his or her perspective, whether I agree with it or not.
Everyone’s perception is truth based on individual experiences. I can choose to listen to what is being said and aim for understanding, and not just listening to respond. Listening has increased my understanding of the world and me. I don’t have to agree with the other perspective, but it doesn’t make it any less true for the person living that experience. Refusing to look at myself through an alternative lens kept me from experiencing the full essence of my being. Instead of making excuses, I’m making adjustments, starting with whatever may be broken within me.