God boxed me into a corner to beat me up four times this past week. On my way to yoga class I was procrastinating, knowing that I needed to go but wasn’t moving to prepare to go. Once I realized that I was going to be late, I was really upset about it. Until I realized that if I was going to be late, it was my fault for waiting until the last minute to get ready. I failed to prepare properly and as a result, I wasn’t going to get the outcome that I wanted because of my own poor judgment. When this came to me, I thought, “Okay, God, I hear you!”
That is what happened the first time around with the blog. I was procrastinating, thinking that something miraculous and profound would just come to me. I was waiting for the perfect moment to write, but refusing to create the moment. Writing is gruesome. It is the thing I love most to do, but it is also the most difficult thing for me to do. Some people spend their entire lives searching for their purpose. I’ve always known. Since the age of 4, I knew that I wanted to be a writer. In the 8th grade, I started writing my first book.
The problem with writing isn’t starting it’s finishing. Most times if I don’t feel like writing, I won’t write. I’ve learned that just because I don’t feel like doing something, doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t do it. Sometimes it’s the thing that we are avoiding the most, that’s the best thing for us. If I believe that my life’s purpose is to be a writer, which I do, then I need to write. These books aren’t going to write themselves.
I previously thought it was acceptable for me to be a procrastinator. It’s one thing to accept something about yourself and learn to live with it, but it’s a completely other thing to know that something isn’t working and continuing to do it anyway. Over time procrastinating caught up to me and made things a lot harder. We have to diligently work towards the future that we want. Preparing properly allows for the perfect execution. That’s how your future is built: planning and then working towards that plan. Your dreams are as reliant on you are you are on them and they aren’t going to build themselves.