From a very young age, we are taught to seek outside validation for all that we do. Our parents taught us whether our behaviors were pleasing or displeasing through their responses to us. As we grew older, we continued to seek this validation from our parents, family members, and friends. Our desire for validation continued to increase as we moved through life and we began to seek approval for things like fashion, relationship, and career choices.
This validation provides the reassurance that we are looking for, that ultimately we cannot give to ourselves. You do not go to someone for validation for something that you know they will not agree with. We seek approval from those that will give us the confirmation that we need. When we do not receive a favorable response, we become like children, experiencing a tantrum for being told no. We respond with aggression and defensiveness when we are told that our behaviors are wrong or disagreeable.
Ultimately the approval that we are seeking is our own. We must develop a great sense of confidence and trust in ourselves and decision-making abilities. We do not realize that our inability to make choices without seeking outside approval demonstrates our lack of trust in ourselves. It is okay to receive encouragement and motivation for our decision-making; however, ultimately the choice is yours.
We sometimes allow others to provide us with direction and guidance for our life and then we make decisions based off of their opinions, perspective, and judgements. You should never give another person power over your life. They may know what’s best for them, but only you know what’s best for you. Trust yourself. Be confident in your decision-making. Make mistakes, learn, and grow, but most importantly, validate yourself!